Everybody needs a little SUNSHINE...

I like to make photo albums of my family for each year. I am just now working on our 2009 album, yikes! I have to wait for long periods of quietness and relentless nagging in my head that says 'Just do it already!'. Its not really that fun to sit on a computer for hours and upload 750 pictures, sort them, fix them when necessary and then place them in the album pages you also create. However, going through the pictures is also very nostalgic for me. I 'oohhhh' and 'ahhh' over family trips and tear up at the disbelief that in ONE YEAR my children have grown so much! I linger on the ones that really touch my heart. I remember looking through the lens and thinking how special they are, and I can see that and feel that when I look at certain shots. My older son kissing his baby brother. My husband's handsome smile and his crystal blue eyes striking the shot of a snow covered canvas. The baby asleep in my arms. I don't just see the pictures, I hear piano notes. I hear their laughter and a video is going in my head that is choreographed with life. A life so beautiful I didn't know it was possible.

When I was little my mom used to call me her sunshine. Now that I am grown I have my own sunshines. My sunshines, my first lights, my blue skies, my loves, my precious children. I think everybody needs a little sunshine in their life. Light that is so tender and pure that it lights places inside of you that you never knew existed. Maybe even dark places that you have kept covered and shaded. I have had both places inside of me.

Jesus tells us that He is the light. If we walk in Him, we will "never walk in darkness but have the light of the world" John 8:12. Developing a relationship with our Heavenly Father has given me the opportunity not only to be the recipient of unconditional love but to give it. I can honestly say that I had absolutely no idea that this kind of life, these images I am going through, could belong to me. That there could be sunshine inside of me that is so bright, I illuminate it. Dark places could be vanished and unknown areas suddenly become very real and vibrant. That is the promise and the Light of Jesus that He speaks of. An unconditional and radiant light that shines not only inside of us, but through us.

My children are being raised to know the Lord and their innocent and raw love for their Heavenly Father is all the reward a mother could ever want! Little hands raised high and sweet voices singing praise...so precious it melts my heart. My little sunshines, my gifts from Jesus! I know I didn't do anything to deserve these snapshots, these moments in time that represent a life as a whole that I call my own. Still they have been given to me. I am humbled and grateful for all of this sunshine!

Thank you Jesus for lighting my life! Thank you for the warmth of my family and the brightness of my beautiful sons! Like the dawn You created, You rose and changed my life! Thank you for Your sunshine!

I have the Perfect Job!

I have now officially graduated and I can now officially say that I know what I want to be when I grow up. After working hard in college for eleven years, three degrees and one certification...I want to be a stay-at-home mom! Of course this was not the plan nor is it music to my husband's ears to hear his wife proclaim this realization. I feel peace though.

I didn't always want to be a stay-at-home mom. I thrive off of success. Hello my name is Rebekah Percival and I am addicted to accomplishment, completion, difficult endeavors and on and on, the list actually is quite long. My list of addictions includes such things as facebook, red wine and chocolate. Things as simple as 'extras' in life that I am not willing to give up, such as a good glass of cabernet. Then there are the things that drive me, internalize inside of me and write my agenda for each day. These things ar deeply rooted in making up who I am and while I consider myself successful for this kind of drive, I secretly hate these things. I am unable to leave things unattended, halfway done or lingering waiting for a better time. I fester, I sweat and I must complete the task at hand and it had better be 110% or I dwell in my self failure. Believe me, its not pretty and it takes a lot of prayer to drag me out of my own pit of self wallowing.

I have come to the conclusion after years of praying for the perfect career and teaching position, countless hours of looking for jobs, attending seminars, job fairs, interviews and work activities, that I may just have the perfect position already. I work for God. I am the mother to His two children, Jakob and Ryder and I am the wife to His son Justin. I am a minister in my own family and I am a disciple for those around me. Even though I have been ordained with these roles with God's grace and love to mold me into these positions, I have far too often neglected them and drudged through them with complete disregard. These are just my duties. Laundry is not ordained by God. Potty training and making lunches cannot possibly be ordained by God. Making that phone call to a distressed friend is not a call from God. Or is it?

I think we as women have in some ways done this to ourselves in society. We are women, hear us roar! There is no question we are capable...we've always been capable. I see what women accomplish in their homes and it amazes me that we have anything left over to give the rest of the world. And yet I often give to the rest of the world and then my family gets what is left over. I am giving left overs to the family God has blessed me with and ordained me to take care of. When I treat my family in this regard, it is like I am giving God my left overs as well.

I love ministry, I love teaching, I love making money...all of these things matter to me, a lot. But God has shown me that they do not matter more than Him. If I am going to follow God's will than I must start where He has placed me. He has graciously placed me in a lovely home with 3 handsome men. I don't know where He will lead me next but I do know that I will continue to work at changing my perspective on success and accomplishment. I may never see the true final product of my work in the home. I am able to catch glimpses of it though. When my child lifts his hands in praise or when my little one goes through a nap with a dry pull-up, I am accomplishing God's work.

My prayer is that we all find peace in where we are at in life. We don't know where we go in the future, I may be led out of home, I don't know. But I do know that my family is borrowed from heaven and God has tenderly placed them in my care while here on earth. I intend to show my gratitude by tending his precious lambs with more than what I have left over at the end of a busy day.

Like Red on a Rose

I've been wanting to write since before Valentines Day. I submitted 'our love story' to KLOVE's contest for Matthew West to write a love song about someone's love story. I did last year too, no win either year. But it had me thinking...

Our love story is so far from pretty or perfect. Child before marriage, destructive behaviors, alcohol abuse...all of the above are neatly packaged terms that mean we were young and wreckless. We met in a bar. Does that sum it up pretty well? We were each complete in emotional baggage that came along for the first several years of our relationship. It was not an easy road to say the least.

What I think is unique about our love story is how God's love for us, brought us together and kept us together. I believe whole-heartedly that our son Jakob was God's gift and reminder that we were meant for one another, and left up to us we would have inevitably messed it up without him.

My husband is not perfect, actually not even close. But he is everything I could ever ask for in my partner. I've watched God grow both of us spiritually and emotionally, together and apart. Justin saves me from myself regularly. My wires get crossed, I run around with my head cut off, I stress...and there he is, calm, collected and ready to quiet his wild eyed and wreckless-souled wife. We compliment each other so well. Alike and yet so different.

In the course of recent events I have found myself really convicted of the wife I am. Looking in, I am a good wife. I try hard, I am considerate, I do housework, I cook, I care for our children...so on and so on. God has challenged me lately to really put my faith in Him and trust that He is sufficent in growing my husband without 'my help'. While everything looks the same on the outside, things have drastically changed on the inside. I have never seen my husband so happy, responsive and spiritual.

God is the center of our marriage. He is the center of our family. The love that is flowing makes my cup runneth over. I am more in love with my husband than I've ever been. He is an amazing man, an amazing father and I have faith in who he is. Not who I believe I can change him to be.

We like to dance. As a family, and just the two of us. We like honky tonk places and beautiful wide open places. We like laughing and playing. We have dinner together every night and I am in awe of God's unconditional love for us.

Seven years later, I had no idea life could be this wonderful. Still far from perfect but complete in our foundation. We still struggle with ourselves, our vices, our emotional hang ups, but with God's amazing grace, we are where we are today. Meant to be together like red on a rose.

Friends

I am reminded this morning that God is in control, and we are not. A friend is suffering deeply and my heart is heavy with grief for her loss. I have several friends who are weathering storms right now. I feel myself called to their side for whatever it is I can do to be a friend. Sometimes it is the support a phone call or even a quick text can give. Other times it is only through praying for one another. I fell to my knees this morning and prayed for my friend. I have been on the other side of those essential life giving prayers so many times, that I know their power! I've experienced the power of prayer personally.

Sometimes I find myself akward when feeling the inevitable nudge the Lord is giving me to pray for a friend in need. Maybe they don't believe, maybe they aren't followers, maybe I won't find the right words, maybe I'll sound dumb, maybe I'll make it worse by making them way too uncomfortable, maybe they'll think I'm weird...MAYBE I should just be obedient and let God be God and do what He does best, give mercy and grace to those in need! I prayed over a friend the other day and much to my surprise the words flowed from me, they weren't my own. I was able to lift her up at a very crucial time when she needed God's presence. It wasn't about me helping her, it was about inviting the Holy Spirit into her situation. I was simply driving down the road on with my friend on speaker phone. The Lord was nudging me harder than I could bear to ignore. Hallelujah, I was obedient and He was with her.

I find that when I am walking by faith, my life is often a mess and difficult in ways that I hadn't imagined possible. Yet, I am not walking alone. I am walking very aware of who is right beside me. I don't ever want to walk any other path. I've been down both, and I will walk through any fire, blind with only faith, so long as He is by my side. I pray that my friends in need, my friends who waiver on the fence, are encouraged with the presence of their Heavenly Father who promises to never foresake them! These are beautiful, intelligent, loving young women, who may not know the Lord yet. Instead of being leary of what they may think, I will be obedient to what I know. That there is a grace filled God who loves them and wants to help them in ways that I cannot. God is love and God is just.

I want to encourage us to be friends to one another. Whether it is praying over each other, or a silent prayer behind a closed door that they never know about. I encourage you to pray for each other diligently, it is the best gift you can offer your loved ones. At the cross He beckons us, draws us gently to our knees, lost for words, lost in love, sweety broken...holy surrender.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

First Night of Class

So, tonight was the first night of my last two classes for my Masters. I have to drive to Hanford, as the class is not offered here in Visalia at Chapman...big bummer! Our contracted class hours are 6-10:30 and I've been nervous about driving home from Hanford to begin with, much less in the fog or rain or really, really late (10:30 is really late for me). Turns out my teacher is only going to keep us until 9:00, which is FANTASTIC! He is a kind, older gentlemen and I just have to share what I observed.

He talked a lot. A lot, a lot. He told us all about his qualifications, his educational history and his experiences in administration for public education. Interesting but not spell binding. Then we had our ten minute break. There was an older lady in the student lounge knitting that I noticed. When class started again, he picked up where he left off. He concluded telling us that while he did not make all of the best choices available to him in his career, he did make one good choice...he married a good woman! They have been married for 51 years, he described it as 'happily, happily married 51 years'. His eyes softened and his voice trailed when he talked about her. He mentioned that she was doing needle work in the lounge because she didn't want him to be lonely on the drive to and from teaching his course, and she'd prefer not to be lonely at home either. He said when you are soul mates, you get to be more comfortable with each other, than without, so she'll be joining him each week while he teaches. Of everything he said, that is what I will remember from tonight's course.

Backing up, I recognized my teacher when I saw him at first enter the classroom. He was speaking at a seminar I attended in January of last year. His son was also speaking and giving advice to students attending the job fair from the perspective of a principal for a local school district. He spoke with such enthusiasm and excitement in describing his teachers and his students, that his demeanor has stuck with me for the last year and it rang a bell when I saw his father again. The son, the principal, shared some of his ideas briefly about relationships between students and teachers. What they should look like and how they affect students personally. He is the principal of an alternative junior high, a.k.a continuation school yet their scores are shooting through the roof. He was just honored as administrator of the year through the Office of Education. He is taking a completely different approach to education in this day and age of standards by requiring, actually requiring, that his teachers make personal connections and bond with their students. They are mandated to "mingle" with the students during breaks and in between classes. What does that tell the students....they care enough to want to know more about me. That talk I was spell bound for.

What does all of this amount to? I was thinking on my drive home that perhaps his emphasis on relationships results on how he was raised and the value placed on relationships in his home growing up. His parents are side-by-side at all times. Not only that, but looking at the big picture, how much value do we place on our relationships in our home, with the people we work with, encounter? A father and mother modeled for their son what a relationship of two loving people looks like, and their son in turn is teaching teachers how to be more personal with their students, which in turn is giving their students self esteem and a sense of being valued and important.

It is all a ripple effect of taking the time to develop relationships and then grow them. I was inspired by these two men and what they have accomplished in different ways, but with the same intention. I want to be that kind of role model for my children, that kind of soul mate to my partner, that kind of teacher to my students and that kind of person that others can sense the value I place on my relationships even when they are sitting in the back of a classroom.

Alas!

So, I have been secretly wanting to start a blog to invest some time into recording our family's day-to-day lives. As long as I can remember I've had the ambition to write. Now I have a cheesey excuse to do just that, so here I am!

After spending the last five months student teaching full time, I cannot describe how great it feels to be home with my kids! I WANT to be the one to care for them, and I WANT to be the one to clean my house, do our laundry and prepare our meals. I WANT to be the one to nurture my family. I am not sure how long this will last, but for now I am enjoying every day that I am home! I am finding joy in the least expected places, such as the laundry room! I am coaxing myself into relaxing and spending time with our children, not just entertaining them long enough to accomplish my next task. I am very "busy bodied" and learning to play has been enriching for us all.

I never saw myself being a "blogger" or finding joy in the laundry room for that matter. In fact, it urks me a little just to type it out because part of me says 'how ridiculous can you get old lady!'. But then the other part of me, the part that is always being refined, open to what the Lord has in store for me and free of all concern of ridicule, reminds me that I have been oh so very blessed and denying those blessings, denying sharing the changes that have happened inside of me, would be denying the Lord Himself and the great works He has done!

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:5-7

So I encourage you to find contentness in whatever your daily requirements. Have a great day, you know where I'll be...that's right, doing housework with a smile on my face!