I have now officially graduated and I can now officially say that I know what I want to be when I grow up. After working hard in college for eleven years, three degrees and one certification...I want to be a stay-at-home mom! Of course this was not the plan nor is it music to my husband's ears to hear his wife proclaim this realization. I feel peace though.
I didn't always want to be a stay-at-home mom. I thrive off of success. Hello my name is Rebekah Percival and I am addicted to accomplishment, completion, difficult endeavors and on and on, the list actually is quite long. My list of addictions includes such things as facebook, red wine and chocolate. Things as simple as 'extras' in life that I am not willing to give up, such as a good glass of cabernet. Then there are the things that drive me, internalize inside of me and write my agenda for each day. These things ar deeply rooted in making up who I am and while I consider myself successful for this kind of drive, I secretly hate these things. I am unable to leave things unattended, halfway done or lingering waiting for a better time. I fester, I sweat and I must complete the task at hand and it had better be 110% or I dwell in my self failure. Believe me, its not pretty and it takes a lot of prayer to drag me out of my own pit of self wallowing.
I have come to the conclusion after years of praying for the perfect career and teaching position, countless hours of looking for jobs, attending seminars, job fairs, interviews and work activities, that I may just have the perfect position already. I work for God. I am the mother to His two children, Jakob and Ryder and I am the wife to His son Justin. I am a minister in my own family and I am a disciple for those around me. Even though I have been ordained with these roles with God's grace and love to mold me into these positions, I have far too often neglected them and drudged through them with complete disregard. These are just my duties. Laundry is not ordained by God. Potty training and making lunches cannot possibly be ordained by God. Making that phone call to a distressed friend is not a call from God. Or is it?
I think we as women have in some ways done this to ourselves in society. We are women, hear us roar! There is no question we are capable...we've always been capable. I see what women accomplish in their homes and it amazes me that we have anything left over to give the rest of the world. And yet I often give to the rest of the world and then my family gets what is left over. I am giving left overs to the family God has blessed me with and ordained me to take care of. When I treat my family in this regard, it is like I am giving God my left overs as well.
I love ministry, I love teaching, I love making money...all of these things matter to me, a lot. But God has shown me that they do not matter more than Him. If I am going to follow God's will than I must start where He has placed me. He has graciously placed me in a lovely home with 3 handsome men. I don't know where He will lead me next but I do know that I will continue to work at changing my perspective on success and accomplishment. I may never see the true final product of my work in the home. I am able to catch glimpses of it though. When my child lifts his hands in praise or when my little one goes through a nap with a dry pull-up, I am accomplishing God's work.
My prayer is that we all find peace in where we are at in life. We don't know where we go in the future, I may be led out of home, I don't know. But I do know that my family is borrowed from heaven and God has tenderly placed them in my care while here on earth. I intend to show my gratitude by tending his precious lambs with more than what I have left over at the end of a busy day.
